Friday Rewind – In-app purchases, Passwords, Report it and the Daily Show

rewindHappy Friday!

Every Friday, I am answering your questions and sharing helpful blogs and resources. Today, we are talking about In-app purchases, passwords, reporting online abuse and the Daily Show.

In-app purchases

This week, Apple agreed to pay 32.5 million for allowing kids to rack of purchases of virtual items within an app without a parent’s permission. After parents entered their password and bought the app, their child had an open window of 15 minutes to buy stuff without reentering the password. If your one of these parents, Apple should be contacting you with how to get a refund for unauthorized purchases by kids. To prevent future unauthorized purchases, check out Commonsense Media’s 4 ways to prevent in app purchases for Apple devices.

Apple is not alone. Consumer Reports found that Google Play allows a child to spend for up to 30 minutes without having to re-enter a passwordFor us Android users, there is no way to turn off Google Play’s grace period. After purchasing an app or game on Google Play, you have 15 minutes for a full refund BUT this 15-minute refund period does not apply to in-app purchases. If you want a refund on the magical sword, you need to contact the developer. No word yet on if the FTC is investigating Google Play. For now, you may want to hang out with your kid for 30 minutes and talk with them about how not everything in a free app is free.

 Most Popular Passwords for 2013

Guess my Password Game is one of my most popular posts. When I first played it with my kid, I guessed her password right away. Yes, her password was one of the top 10 most popular passwords. This week, I updated my game to include the most popular passwords for 2013. It is almost identical to my original list except a bit longer. For instance, 1234 is now 123456. Passwords are getting longer; now we need to work on making them stronger.

 Reporting Online Abuse

The Cyberbullying Research Center has a list of popular apps and how to report online abuse for each one. This is a great resource for parents. It is important for us to let these companies know what is happening so they can address the problem and limit this harmful activity. Bookmark Report It.

Daily Show Privacy

Not often does one of my favorite TV shows and privacy collide, but it did this week. Check out Jon Stewart and Therese author Theresa Payton discussing her new book Privacy in the Age of Big Data.

totlol password

Totlol – a kids safe video site created by parents

totlol iconTotlol is a safe video site for kids built by parents for parents. The idea for Totlol came about after Michael Avni, one of the founders and father of 3, discovered that even after setting parental controls on all of his computers and mobile devices, his little girl still stumbled upon an inappropriate video. 

Unfortunately, this is not uncommon. Kapersky Lab found that kids, clicking on YouTube’s suggested videos displayed beside children’s programs, were just three clicks away from adult content. In 3 clicks, kids can go from counting Elmo to swearing Elmo. YouTube’s safety mode helps, but with 100 hours of video uploaded to YouTube every minute, it is impossible to check every video. This is where Totlol comes in.

Totlol is a free curated video site for kids under 12.  Instead of trying to block inappropriate content, Totlol starts by uploading only kids safe videos. Who decides what videos to upload? Parents.

To find out more about how Totlol works, I talked with Tiffany Stelman, CEO. She explained to me about how they go to great lengths to ensure every video is kid-safe. “Currently everyone can upload videos but before they enter our database of videos, we are the final hurdle of approval, so every video is going through us.”

Parents not only upload videos, they also rate them. If parents disagree about what videos a 10 year old can watch, Tiffany says they can flag the video. “When a parent thinks a videos isn’t appropriate for that age group they can flag this specific video, which sends a warning to us and we check it.  We consult child experts and make the call whether we should ban this video or not.  However, any user can build his or hers own ‘favorites’ list which will include ONLY their approved videos.” Continue reading

family contract

How to create a Family Phone Contract

We decided she was ready. We picked a phone and plan. Now, she has a phone!

My kid spent her first phone weekend searching for the perfect case and texting her friends. On Monday, she discovered her phone journey was not over. We sat down together to draft her phone contract.

Her phone contract included rules about both time and use. In fairness, she wished she were her older sister. Her big sister did not have a phone contract. We learned with her. Through trial and error, we worked out a phone understanding.

So far, these improvised guidelines have worked. Even so, I wish we had drafted a phone contract when our eldest first got her phone. Setting rules about time and use from the beginning is easier than trying to figure them out midstream.

With our second kid, we wrote a contract from the start. We did not just give her a list of rules. We went through each point and discussed it. While working on the contract, we found out what she already knew and we shared our specific concerns. We reworked a few items based on our discussion. Ultimately, her safety and privacy came first so some of our rules were not negotiable.

Family phone agreements can range from a few simple rules to multi-page documents. What you decide to cover in your agreement will depend a lot on your family. Try to focus on what is important for you and your kid now. Families should review and revise their contract at least once a year. As a kid grows older, you can add more expectations around issues such as sexting as well as allow for more freedom as they show they are responsible.

Below is an example of our contract. We started with the bullet points and the grey italics show what we discussed. There are many family digital agreements online. If this model doesn’t fit your family, I have included a few more at the bottom.

FAMILY PHONE CONTRACT

  • Phones must be parked by                   at                                          .

Originally, I wanted a hard stop but we settled on the phone goes to bed when she goes upstairs to bed. The phone is parked downstairs & the charger stays downstairs.

  •  Phones cannot be used during                                                                        .

Families should try to create some phone free times. Discuss with your kid when they can use their phone and when they should put it away.When we sit at the table for a family dinner all phones including mine are not allowed at the table. 

  • Your contacts can only include                                                           .

We talked a lot about who they can have in their contact list. Especially for a new phone user keep the contact list to their real world friends and family. If they have a question about who to add they should ask you.

  • To keep you safe, we will monitor your phone by                                                .

I monitor with surprise phone checks. Periodically, we ask for the phone and go through it. I do it with them sitting next to me so I can ask them questions. I am not looking to get them into trouble. I just want to know what they are doing with their phone. Most of the time, it is a quick, simple perusal. The only time, I really go through it is if there is a hesitation to handing over the phone or I think something is going on.

To keep them safe and protect their privacy, parents should set some hard and fast rules.

  • Never share your personal information online.

Kids should remember never to share their location or physical address. They should also never give out their personal information such as phone number, full birthdate, full name or other information that could be used by an identity thief.   

  • Never type or post anything you would not say in person or wish to appear on a billboard.

If they would not say it to someone’s face, they should not share it online. This includes not only what they post on social networks but private communications as well. Texts and instant messages can be saved with a screenshot and posted elsewhere or forwarded to someone else. Nothing is ever private in the digital world.

  • Your device must be kept secure at all times.

 Kids should set a strong password and not share their password with anyone except you. Viruses can also target smartphones. If your kid has a smartphone, they should  keep all software up to date.

  • For Smartphones – If you restrict it on the desktop, restrict it on the phone.

A smartphone is a computer in their pocket. Parents will want to extend the family computer rules to this device.

  • If you have a problem, please come to us first and we have a problem we will come to your first.
  • If you do not uphold this contract, we will                                                        .

Parents need to let kids know what will happen if they misuse their phone. For minor mistakes, parents may want to increase monitoring for a period of time. For bigger violations, parents may want to implement a digital time out or digital grounding. I know parents who take the phone completely away for a period of time while others restrict its use to certain hours of the day. Digital grounding is not as easy as it sounds. Kids will argue they need their phone for school and you may want them to have it during the day. Whatever you decide make sure you can enforce it. 


For more examples of family media agreements, check out:

phone

Is a phone on your back to school shopping list?

I will admit that when our eldest got a phone we did not think too deeply about it. She was babysitting and participating in more after school activities and we wanted her to be able to contact us. We knew she would use it to text her friends, but we didn’t think that was a big deal. Now a few years a later, we have another child entering middle school and this time around we are not as cavalier about getting her a phone.

There are days I love the phone and days I wonder why she has it. I love that she can call if she needs a ride or has a problem and I can reach her if there is a change.I am more comfortable letting her venture out knowing she has a phone. All of this connection can also lead to disconnection. She is on her phone a lot. Some days, I swear she never looks up and it is a constant battle to limit time. We also struggle with how much to monitor her use. It is hard to guide her if we don’t know what she is doing on her phone. We want to make sure she is using her phone responsibly but we don’t want to read every text. 

Before buying a phone, parents and kids should discuss time and use. Ultimately, whether a kid is ready for a phone depends a lot on them and you. Some questions to think about are:

  • How responsible are they with their current devices?
  • How well are they doing with time management?
  • Are they managing friendships well in the real world?
  • Are you ready as a parent to manage and guide their use?

If you decide it is time for a phone, remember a phone and internet can be separated and introduced at different ages. Your 6th grader may need a phone to get picked up at school. It doesn’t mean they need internet access. Contrary to what they may tell you, not everyone has a smartphone.

Once you have decided on a phone, parents and kids should sit down and talk expectations & consequences. Working together, you and your child can create a family phone contract. Creating a contract together is a great way to make sure everyone is on the same page. I like the idea of a contract vs. a list of rules. It gives you a chance to hear their thoughts and talk about responsible phone use. Ultimately, their safety and privacy must be protected so not everything is negotiable.

Parents should decide how they are going to monitor time and use. Keeping chargers downstairs is a great way to limit late night texting. Parents may also want to set a no phones at the dinner table rule. To keep track of use, we have surprise cell phone checks and I know other parents who use monitoring software. Whatever you decide for your child make sure that monitoring and education go hand in hand. The goal is for monitoring to lead to a dialogue.

We are all learning the rules of the road for this new technology. They will make mistakes. When they may make a mistake or see something that upsets them, you want them to come to you. Mistakes are an opportunity for everyone to learn.

security phone

5 Ways to Protect your Kid’s Phone

Privacy and security go hand in hand. This is especially true with a kid’s mobile phone. Their phone contains lots of personal information that anyone who has access to it can see. In order to keep their information private, kids need to keep their device secure. With kids, the two big security issues are losing their phone or downloading a bad app.

According to Lookout, 30 billion phones are lost a year. In Seattle, we lose our phones on average twice a year. So far, my kids have not lost of device although one did go through the washer and dryer. But, at some point someone is going to lose a phone. Anyone who finds their phone will have access to their information such as contacts, pictures and messages as well as their open accounts such as Twitter, or Facebook.

The other threat kids may encounter is downloading a bad app. A report by McAfee found 1 in 6 mobile apps contain malware or spyware. Kids who love to download apps may end up with one of these characters. These malicious apps can do anything from sending annoying pop up ads to stealing personal information.

To protect privacy, make sure your kids are implementing these simple security tips. Continue reading